Are You a Disordered Eater?
Formal diagnosis or not, there are a lot of women out there who are disordered eaters, and I’m one of them. I struggle to remember to eat, and then when I remember, I struggle to make myself do it. Sometimes I will bribe myself with goodies like Krispy Kreme jelly donuts just to get something in my stomach, and other times I’m fine and eat like a "normal person."
But even on those days, I weigh every piece of food in my mind, consider the cellulite on my thighs, and feel guilty about it. I’ve never made myself throw up after eating, but I’ve thought about it. A lot. I just can’t stand the thought of it.
The thought of getting pregnant and having kids scares me because I worry that I won’t eat enough for my baby while it’s developing, or while I’m breastfeeding. I know I should eat 3 meals a day, and snacks. Breakfast every morning. Lunch every afternoon. A piece of fruit when my stomach rumbles. But I just can’t make myself do it every day.
Some days are easier, like I said, normal. But for me, that’s abnormal. And I need to let it go. I need to break the mirror, throw the scale out the window, and live the way my body wants me to. That’s why I’m glad for resources like the recently revived Breaking the Mirror eating disorders blog. New host Angelique knows what I’m going through because she’s been there, and she’s helping us all get through it one post at a time.
Check it out. You’ll want to bookmark this one.
Tags: women, womens health, woman, health, eating disorder, breaking the mirror
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3 opinions for Are You a Disordered Eater?
Angelique
Dec 24, 2007 at 9:15 pm
KK:
Thanks so much for popping in and for giving me a little plug! :)
I expect to be writing quite a bit about being pregnant, as my experience with an eating disorder was definitely on my mind when I learned I was having my son. It was awesome… and scary.
Keep stopping over… and if you want me to touch on anything, just say the word!
Angelique
Need a Confidence Boost? Buy New Underwear
Jun 1, 2008 at 7:56 pm
[…] been having, shall we say, body issues lately. You already know about my dysfunctional relationship with food, so I won’t rehash the details. Suffice it to say that I have a hard time dealing with how my […]
Sandie Law
Jun 1, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I have the opposite problem. I know I shouldn’t nosh on cookies, ice cream, etc., yet I do. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reached for more chips only to find the bag empty. I’m the poster child for emotional and mindless eating.
I am happy to report however that my new depression med, Wellbutrin (this will be the 5th medication I’ve tried in 4 years) seems to help a lot with my cravings and mindless eating.
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