Codependency: What It Is and How to Deal
Do you suffer from codependency, and would you know if even if you did? According to Mental Health America (MHA), codependency is “an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as ‘relationship addiction’ because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.”
The thing is, many of the elements of codependency seem like good things and are traits frequently praised in women, so sufferers are often reluctant to admit that there’s a problem. For example, wanting to help others and caring about their needs is a good thing, right? But not when you do it to the exclusion of caring for your OWN needs. In fact, codependency can be described as an addiction to feeling needed, because codependents are focused on others’ needs rather than their own.
WebMD offers these red flags for identifying unhealthy, codependent relationships (some with my commentary), along with tips for breaking the cycle of codependency:
Red Flag No. 1: Do you become obsessed with fixing and rescuing needy people? (see also: every relationship I had during high school and my first 2 years of college)
Red Flag No. 2: Are you easily absorbed in the pain and problems of other people?
Red Flag No. 3: Are you trying to control someone? Is someone trying to control you? (see also: my relationship with my parents)
Red Flag No. 4: Do you do more than your share — all of the time? (see also: every group project I’ve ever done)
Red Flag No. 5: Are you always seeking approval and recognition?
Red Flag No. 6: Would you do anything to hold on to a relationship? Do you fear being abandoned? (see also: the last guy I dated before I met my husband)
If you see yourself in any of these codependency descriptors, take action and get help. You deserve to be happy and in control of your own life. The best solution I know of is to seek individual counseling (ie, psychotherapy), but you may find that something else works for you.
Codependency Recovery Resources
Tags: codependency, Emotional health, Mental health, Relationships, woman, women, Womens-HealthRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Emotional health, Mental health, Relationships
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1 opinion for Codependency: What It Is and How to Deal
marie
Nov 13, 2007 at 10:23 pm
I need help to understand myself as an emotional co-dependent person
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